And so it happened that I went to Latin Fusion class to shake my pathetic booty… with a hole in the butt of my shorts.
Yes, you read that right.
Picture it for a moment. Me. Scared to try a new class. Especially a Latin Fusion dance class, with my oversized butt trying desperately to shake my hips. Especially since I have no rhythm. And I’m still sore from previous workouts. But I’m motivated and driven to bring about change. And so, I bravely forge ahead into the unknown.
I scrutinize my wardrobe, not knowing what to wear. I pick out something and husband approves - black workout shorts and a blue top. Secretly, I’m fashioning hot pink sports bra and panties beneath it all. It makes me feel energetic… and girly… and ready for this my first class!
I stride into the gym confidently, grab a water, and secure my bag in my locker. Then head up to the studio. It’s a pretty big class, but not everyone is ‘in shape’ so I’m feeling ok about it. I scope it out for a minute before entering the studio, and decide to press onward. I take a spot at the very back left corner. Mirrors abound, but I try not to catch my own awkward image.
The music begins and I give it my all. Shaking and thrusting those bumbling hips. Trying to learn the steps. I am confident and do not give up despite my two clumsy left feet. The clock ticks slowly but I persist inelegantly. Sweat drips. Tick. Tick. Tick. Turn, spin, face left, face right. Mamba, cha cha… I don’t know the difference, but I think I’m making the effort. 60 full minutes.
I’m exhausted, but proud of my graceless performance. I did it. I wasn’t intimidated. I worked hard. Burned Calories. Kicked butt - again today! I’m on top of the world, now that it is over. I rush down to the locker room as quickly as my weary legs can take me, which is comparable to a snail’s pace. I gulp down 30 oz of water to rehydrate myself, and just chill for about 10 min before heading back out the door and to the car.
Blasting the A/C and the radio, I slowly cruise home. I’m still unsure if I want to add this class to my weekly routine, and I’m reviewing it all in my head. I arrive at home and review the experience with my husband and friend. It wasn’t THAT bad. All is well, maybe I’ll go once a week just to ’shake things up’. Haha… pun intended.
Suddenly I realize I’m hungry and go to grab a banana. I walk toward the kitchen and my husband says. “You didn’t wear those shorts to class, did you?” I stop in my tracks. What does this mean? What’s wrong with my shorts. That’s when he tells me there is a 2″ rip down the seam in the back and my glowing pink panties are there for all the world to see.
I relive it all in my head. Picture it with me once more. Shaking and thrusting those bumbling hips. The clock ticks slowly but I persist inelegantly. Sweat drips. Tick. Tick. Tick. Turn, spin, face left, face right. Mamba, cha cha… ALL OF IT WITH A GAPING HOLE IN MY SHORTS AND PINK PANTIES EXPOSED!!!
Tell me your workout was worse than THAT!!!!
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I’m so sorry that this happened to you but I have to tell you that it’s hilarious!! Especially in the way that you tell it. Maybe nobody paid any attention because they were concentrating on the steps just as you were. Again, I’m sorry but that is just too funny. Thank you for sharing!
Hey, at least you had pretty pink panties on and not some kind of old ripped one’s on. Hey, I’m just trying to make you feel better! I thought your story was too cute. Look past this as just a funny story you can tell after you reach your goal. Thanks for the story girl!
Ahhh…girl, I’ve had so many embarassing moments that I’ve come to embrace them. They say that if you laugh, the world laughs with you! I once served lunch (where I was cook & waitress) and there were roughly about 20 construction workers and 5 police officers, I was the only female and they gave me grief on a minute by minute basis. I went to serve one of the officers his lunch and someone had made a remark so I shot off what I thought was a witty comeback, everyone laughing and looking at me and then there was silence. The officer looked at me and said..What the he$$ is that? I lowered my head to look down and there was the wire from my underwire bra coming up out of my shirt and was right at my chin! They had the best time with that and I could’ve melted . ( I don’t think any of them had ever seen a wire. They kept joking what kind of steel trap did I have to heave those things in…lol. I’m thinking none of them had ever been with a fat chick..)It’s all fun. At least you were in the corner. I’m sure my big butt would’ve been in front of a handsome guy just to make it worse. Start wearing all your shorts that way and you’ll start a trend!
Cindy
That story was so animated and I loved it! I really am sorry for your embarassement but being in the back row I’m sure nobody saw. You really made me laugh this morning…I needed that! It sounds like a really vigourous workout and 60 minutes..OMGoodness!!! You Go Girl!!
Hilarious. Yes I’ve done it. And at least you were wearing panties. I’m horrified by the gals who don’t! The important part of the story is that you tried something new and had fun and felt good about yourself. If someone else saw your panties… well that’s just their lucky day, isn’t it?! Fun story. Keep up the great work!